Finding My Fit

Rip Van Winkle. That story has been running through my mind recently. I feel like I'm Rip Van Winkle in one situation in my life. Hopefully, my thoughts will not ruffle any feathers. For over seventeen years I have been so busy as a single Mom, solving problems with my children and our life, managing one crisis after another, homeschooling, working, dealing with my mom's illness and resolving medical challenges with my children. I feel like Rip, I woke up one day many years later and realized that my culture had passed me up, things had changed. I was alive but somehow felt like an outsider looking in, observing, going through the motions, watching but unable to participate.

It all started the day I realized that I no longer knew any of the songs being sung in church, there was no interest in learning any of them either because I knew that the next week there would be a brand new set of songs to learn. And I stood there realizing that for the first time in my life I had no interest in learning new songs. My culture had simply past me up and I was ready to let it go. No longer would church be a place where I cared to participate in the singing anymore. I'd let others sing what my heart could no longer sing or participate in. My heart and mind had suddenly become too old. I knew that I couldn't change it and I couldn't fight it. All I could do was accept it. Somewhere during this time I bought a speaker, downloaded Pandora and began listening to the music that speaks to my heart. Maybe I won't sing like I used to in church and choir but I'm thankful I found a way to find my fit in a world that I feel I no longer belong to.

Maybe you have places and things in your life where you too feel like you don't belong. I pray that God will help you find a solution for how to handle these places and situations in your life.